A Farewell Note

There was something about the way it was said - You'll be moving on. This chapter of your life closes here. You'll begin a new chapter; write about new experiences.

I felt offended at this. It seemed to suggest whatever I wrote was just for the sake of it. Like I did not feel attached to people. And that it'd not make a difference to me since I was the one moving on. After an initial fit of rage, I understood it was said so that I reassure them of my affection.

Just wondering, what is so difficult about moving on? That there will be people left behind, and they would not be moving on? And it'll take some effort on their part to restructure their life without you?

I am amazed at the ease with which people here had included me into their lives, and made me a part of it. I wasn't really looking at friendships, but their attitude was infectious. Within days I found myself feeling one of them. Like I had always been around. People kept confiding in me their stories of love and having lost, and I felt myself hoping that they'd overcome the loss. More so with each passing day.

I have a feeling all this happened because they knew I would leave in a short while. Maybe things would have different if I were to stay longer, without certainty. Maybe it'd be difficult for them then - to see someone every morning and be reminded that they have access to your deepest secrets.

I wonder why things become so dear to you when you know you are going to lose them. Why do we always want people to stay? If I look at it rationally, it is a futile exercise to invest so much emotion in something that you know you'll lose for sure. But that's exactly what we do. And that makes parting even more difficult. The good part is knowing that whenever I look back at it, I will only remember the smiles.

So here's to all the fun and happiness I found here - the late night walks, the morning sunshine and lots of conversations. Will miss you all!